A Request.

Hi there, Universe! It’s ya girl, Jax. I just wanted to check-in, see how things were, and ask:

WHAT THE FUCK, BITCH?

As I am sure you know, things have been kinda rough. Nothing seems to work out right. Not even taking a shower: remember when the shower caddy full of shampoo bottles and bars of soap and my dad’s razor threatened to fall onto my head and I stood there holding onto all of it for dear life with face wash dripping into my eyes? Or when I spilled an entire bottle of water on my eye doctor’s rug? Or when my $11 flew off into the wind, never to be seen again? Or when I ordered a salad through the McDonald’s drive-thru and realized I’d left my wallet at work? Fun times. Things like that happen to all of us, but after two weeks of it happening all day every single fucking day, it gets taxing.

Shall we discuss my debilitating corneal ulcer, my car overheating and spending an arm and a leg to get it fixed only to have it happen again, my ass being absolutely broke, my plans of visiting my sister and nephew being ruined, two of my friends proving to be complete asshats, meeting a really cute guy and then hearing he thinks I’d be a fantaaaaastic match for his friend, falling like timber onto my head during team building with all of my co-workers being there, or asking if I could get one of my kids into a potentially life-changing program, being told yes, busting my ass to get her application done and convincing her mother to let her do it, only to be told she can’t be in it after all?

My request to you, Universe: Get your motherfucking act together. Immediately. I’m trying real hard on this end, making plans with friends, being positive and keeping my room real feng shui, going to reiki and drinking many variations of sangria. But there’s only so many candles I can buy and fake laughs I can muster!

On a more serious note, I am sorry if my rant sounds selfish and trivial in the face of other people’s and the world’s real problems. Please help them with theirs first, make sure they’re okay, and when you get some time, come on over and hang out with me a bit. Cause a sista would love to catch a break.

Forever yours,

Jax

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