Fortune.

It was a night of running after a subway train in heels, getting denied entrance into a bar, a racist Ethiopian and a Minnie Me impersonator at the club, an abrasive and chain-smoking big girl, a cut that refused to stop bleeding and required emergency attention, a walk in the cold rain, and a drunken and very sweaty sleep.  Needless to say, Boston nightlife is a great time.  And needless to say, I am exhausted and lying in bed as a write this.  Yes, I am still recovering in bed and it’s almost 9 at night. 

After getting back to the apartment in soaked clothes, we did what any normal, intoxicated people would do – we ordered Chinese food.  Sesame chicken, beef-fried rice, and crab rangoons.  “Best Chinese food I evah had,” I proclaimed in between mouthfuls.  I looked up and found “girl, you crazy” looks from both Steph and Des.  It really was delicious, until I realized just how drunk I was.  Yikes.

This morning, throat dry from laughter and debauchery, I had myself a breakfast of a fortune cookie and water.  If you know anything about me, you know I loveeee fortune cookies, and when I opened mine, it read:  You’re feeling the need to think longer-term.  Plan ahead.

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“I agree, fortune cookie,” I said as I shoved the slip of paper into my sweatpants pocket.  And that slip of paper has remained, forgotten, in that pocket until this moment.  And I still agree with the words of advice written by some random person in a factory somewhere in China.  Crazy nights are fun, lots of fun.  If I could do last night over again a thousand times I would. 

But there comes a time when we need to start thinking about what’s best for us, for our futures.  There comes a time to stop taking things so lightly and start making moves, start being brave.  The here and the now, the immediate and gratifying are just that – temporary.  They come and go, and sometimes give us meaning and purpose (and most often – let’s be real – they don’t), and we forget them as soon as they’ve been experienced.  When we look back, what can we say we are being remembered by?  What legacy will we be leaving behind?

I want to be able to sit at a table one day, many years from now, over the same vodka and strawberry kiwi drink I had last night, with the same friends and laugh and talk about last night.  I also want to say that I set goals and a path and paved my own way.  I want to say that a simple fortune cookie who a thousand other people have read held a truth about myself that I have been trying to ignore.  So, there’s a job I’ve been meaning to apply for, a job that could really change my future and like a compass, set it in the direction it needs to go.  There are certain changes I need to make, and deserve to.  I’m gonna get on that, right now.  Just had to get a few thoughts off my chest.

On that note, have a marvelous week, friends!

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